Enough Is Enough
Finding and setting your boundaries
“Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are.”- Chinese Proverb
I’m an early riser. My mornings begin pretty calmly- coffee, my dog, and a few minutes of meditation. Lately I’ve been paying closer attention to the tension that is creeping in before the sun is up. It’s the quiet rush and a nagging feeling that I am forgetting something . It’s not my pace that’s the problem- It’s something else.
I’ve learned that I can do a lot at once. I’m a multitasker who moves fast. “Go-getter,” “rolling stone,” and “highly ambitious” are descriptions that followed me in my career. Overload, though rare, happens and it is important that I know where this is coming from.
So, do I know when enough is enough? I’ve been looking into that. As a solo leader “doing it all”, comes with the job - especially in public service. But building supports before burnout hits keeps us healthy and balanced. My research led me to my arch-nemesis: setting boundaries.
Look it up and you’ll find the same story in countless memes and journal articles like one I read on Forbes1. According to the author, Jeifetz, I’m not alone in that gut-punch feeling that boundary-setting brings:
“Individuals often feel guilty or obligated to say yes to requests, even when it means compromising their own needs.”
For women leaders, it’s even harder.
“Societal expectations and gender norms can create additional pressure on women to be caregivers, nurturers, and people-pleasers, often at the expense of their own well-being. Some women may find it difficult to assert their boundaries due to fears of being perceived as unfriendly, uncooperative, or not a team player.”
Setting boundaries can feel like the opposite of momentum and ambition — like a full stop. But is it?
On the contrary. Diving into this topic further (with leadership in mind), I read that boundaries help cultivate trust, respect, and… balance. When we set them, we’re helping our staff and colleagues understand the best way to work with us. It realigns us as teammates.
Ben Brearley puts it this way in his article for The Thoughtful Leader:2
“If you don’t focus on boundary setting in leadership, you will likely be focusing on other people’s priorities instead of your own, and you may become a less effective leader.”
And what does boundary setting look like? According to the leadership consulting firm Korn Ferry3, boundaries for senior managers often revolve around transparency. They can be as simple as making space for self-reflection, giving yourself permission to slow down, or sharing your limits with your team honestly.
I know I’m on the right track, but every so often I need a reminder to hang back a bit, be clear with my communications, and say “no” — with finesse. Starting now, I’m practicing the quiet strength of knowing where my line is, and holding it.
How do you set your limits in leadership?
Forbes Coaches Council. (2024, July 8). Mastering boundaries for leadership success. Forbes.
https://www.forbes.com/councils/forbescoachescouncil/2024/07/08/mastering-boundaries-for-leadership-success/
Brearley, B. (n.d.). Setting boundaries at work: Why it’s crucial for leaders. Thoughtful Leader. Retrieved October 24, 2025, from
https://www.thoughtfulleader.com/confidence/setting-boundaries-at-work/
Korn Ferry. (n.d.). Boundaries: Lessons for leaders. Korn Ferry Institute. Retrieved October 24, 2025, from
https://www.kornferry.com/institute/boundaries-lessons-for-leaders